Connecting 101: Get Out of Your Head

I was on a coaching call this week.   We were given an assignment to conduct informational interviews with our target market.   We were told, “Don’t be up in your head, when you’re talking to people.  Don’t be wondering what you’re going to say next.  Don’t try to impress them with how knowledgeable you are. “  I translated this to mean don’t perform, connect.

Don’t be up in your head. This is the part that still grabs me days later.

How did she know? You’re telling me…. I’m not the only one who does this?
Whewwww! What a relief.

What happens up in your head?

• We’re convinced no one else has our same fears and concerns.
• We develop assumptions, myths and stereotypes about another person’s motivations.
• We miss out on opportunities to connect with other people.

I read a post today by Chris Brogan, entitled, We could do so much more.  He wrote about his experience at a new media networking event.  Towards the end of his post he writes,

Know what I saw more than anything else when I really took a moment to look around? Lonely people. I saw people not connecting. I saw lots of people who could’ve used a little attention. And I saw many people with lots of energy looking for a place to put it. And that means we have opportunities.

Reading this reminded me of the conference call I was on this week. My lesson from his post and my conference call is we value people when we connect with them by listening and by taking the time to really see them.

Do More…
Do more than exist. Live.
Do more than hear. Listen.
Do more than agree. Cooperate.
Do more than talk. Communicate.
Do more than grow. Bloom.
Do more than spend. Invest.
Do more than think. Create.
Do more than work. Excel.
Do more than share. Give.
Do more than decide. Discern.
Do more than consider. Commit.
Do more than forgive. Forget.
Do more than help. Serve.
Do more than coexist. Reconcile.
Do more than sing. Worship.
Do more than think. Plan.
Do more than dream. Do.
Do more than see. Perceive.
Do more than read. Apply.
Do more than receive. Reciprocate.
Do more than choose. Focus.
Do more than wish. Believe.
Do more than advise.  Help.
Do more than speak. Impart.
Do more than encourage. Inspire.
Do more than add. Multiply.
Do more than change. Improve.
Do more than reach. Stretch.
Do more than ponder. Pray.
Do more than just live. Live for Jesus.
-from “An Enemy Called Average” by John Mason

How you missed out on some opportunities to connect with your family or people you’ve met this week? What will you do differently?