Ain’t I A Woman, Part 3

This post is picks up where I left off on Monday’s post, Ain’t I A Woman.  It’s mainly about the gender differences discussed in the book, Why She Buys.    According to the author, Bridget Brennan,  her goal in writing this book is to make businesses aware of these differences in hopes that women consumers would be better served.    By writing this book she attempts to explore “the correlation between gender and business strategy.”

My purpose in writing this series of posts is not to really review the book, but to highlight some of what I’m learning.  Today and tomorrow’s post are just small snippets from all this book has to reveal.  The information below and in the next post is only a snapshot of one chapter from the book.

Gender Difference #1: Women and men define success differently.

Girls learn it’s important for them to learn 2 social talents: being liked and being helpful.

I can soooo relate to this.   I’ve spent so much of my life trying to please other people and manage their perceptions of me.  When I look into the lives of my girlfriends, (what they allow me to see) I see a similar thing.  We try really hard to be liked and to be helpful.   We want to be, as the author states, indispensable to our families, our employers, our churches, our friends, our children’s schools, etc.

Achievement for women is more internal and inclusive. Women find success sweeter when it benefits the people they care about, because for a woman building relationships is one of the most valuable life achievements.

What is your definition of success?  If you ask most women,  external things are not usually what drive a woman to “feel” successful.   It will usually involve her relationships.   We feel rewarded when we can serve others.

Gender difference #2:  Women connect by revealing their feelings and being vulnerable.  Men connect through activities and by NOT being vulnerable.

Think about all those hour long (or more) conversations you’ve had with your best girlfriends.   Don’t you feel so much closer to your friends after those conversations?  We bond over whatever we are thinking or experiencing in our lives in that moment.   I always feel lighter after one of those hour long yada yada sessions with one of my best friends.

When you think of a business woman who has made her living through sharing her feelings and being vulnerable, who immediately comes to mind?  Oprah, of course.   The first show I remember seeing of Oprah’s was when she shared about being raped as a child.   This left an impression on me, even as a child.  I couldn’t believe that some one on TV was willing to share such a private experience from her life, according to Brennan this is part of Oprah’s appeal.  Her willingness to share her life makes her relatable, even to women who on the surface (wives, mothers) she doesn’t have much in common with.   Women connect with Oprah, because she lets us know, despite her fame, her wealth and her wide spread influence, (ie. all the surface things)  to her underneath it all we are all the same.

How then does this information translate for those of us in the business of serving women consumers?  According to Brennan,

• Think twice before using “masculine” competitive messages in your marketing.

There was some serious outrage expressed by women regarding the Super Bowl ads this year.   Some of the ads really missed the mark on their target demographic and who they were serving.

• No matter your business, strive to make service a major differentiator.
• Leverage the word-of-mouth power that women customers have on any business.

Women talk and we really like to share when we find something we like.  There are countless things that I’ve purchased or services I’ve used because my girlfriends have told me about their good experience.  There are countless things they’ve purchased because I told them it was a good buy.  There are restaurants I won’t step foot in because a friend told me how poorly they were treated and vice versa.  Word-of-mouth carries serious weight.   The sooner we all realize this and adjust accordingly, the better.

• Invest in human help.

I can tell you one of the most irritating experiences is needing someone’s help when you are trying to make a purchasing decision and there is NO ONE to be found to help.

Empathy is an effective sales tool.

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Validation and affirmation help women to say yes.

Affirm how your customer is feeling.  Help her justify her decision to buy from you.

Humanize your company by minimizing status differences and leveraging a sense of humor.

All State’s insurance commercials during the recession have been a brilliant example to me of this.  Even though All State is an insurance giant it has captured the heart of how many Americans feel right now.

Demonstrating appreciation is one of the simple ways to generate word-of-mouth publicity and repeat business from women.

Thank you never goes out of style.  People always appreciate a sincere gratitude.

Tomorrow’s post will discuss gender differences #3 through #5.  These post have just scratched the surface on this book.   I’m so curious to know your thoughts on what I’ve shared so far.  Do you agree or disagree with this information?  Do you think it stereotypes women?   Why?