It’s Just Hair and other myths…

Have you ever looked back on a seemingly insignificant moment in your life and realized how significant it actually is?   I got the idea for writing this series of post, because I have a big (in my world) announcement to make (for those who really know me).    My hair stories are leading up to tomorrow’s post, “Change.  It’s the new Me.”  Today’s story is a little more serious than the two I shared earlier in the week, because I want to share a lesson I learned about myself.

Back in the early 90s when I was a college intern there were not a lot of hair salon choices for African-American women in Phoenix.   I was quite capable of doing my own hair, but I had a special occasion coming up and I wanted a more polished look.    I think I found my salon, as most women do when they move to a new city, through a referral.    I called the salon and booked my appointment.  I remember how the salon looked inside, but I don’t remember the name of it or the stylist who did my hair.   I probably blocked it out of my memory.

My appointment was early Saturday morning for a shampoo and a style.  A shampoo and a style for black women means your hair is washed, blow dryed and curled with a flat iron.   When the stylist took my hair down and saw how thick it was, I think she panicked.    She told me she wanted to do a relaxer instead.    I told her that she couldn’t because I had just washed my hair that Thursday evening.   It wasn’t that my hair couldn’t be styled without giving me a fresh relaxer treatment.  She had come to the realize my hair was not going to be as “easy” as she had expected and she needed a shortcut solution.

Again I told her, as far as I knew you could not have a relaxer within at least 72 hours of washing your hair.   She told me she would put the relaxer on really quickly and that she would only leave it on for a few minutes.  I know.  I know.  I can hear you shouting at the computer like it was a horror movie.  Don’t do it!  Don’t do it!  Against my better judgment, because I didn’t want to be seen as difficult, I let her.   As a result, I had one of the worst chemical burns I’ve ever had in my life.   Needless to say that was my first and last time going to that salon.

I allowed this woman to put a relaxer on my hair even when I knew what the outcome would be.   Only now – looking back – have I realized I should have insisted she NOT give me the relaxer.  As Doctor Phil would say, “we teach people how to treat us.”

My hair was gorgeous, but it wasn’t worth the burns.

What lessons have you learned that you thought were about your hair (or other external things) but were really about adjustments you needed to make?   Please, share in the comments below.

In case you were wondering, here’s the result of the torture hair treatment: